Necrosis Valley Haunts


Welcome to Necrosis Valley Haunt 2017 (or NOT)

(Scroll over the photos for captions...they are often better than the text)
AND, you'll miss the cool background soundtrack unless you use a none-iPhone web browser

This is REAL(ly sucky)

Each year, Washington Football fans (Greg, we mean...Jeff's a Giants fan) head into the late summer with the loftiest hopes and clearest vision. Clean slate. It's a new season. Hope springs eternal. There is so much we can accomplish.

Typically, by game 2, REALITY sets in.

The last 2 summers at Necrosis Valley have been like an Off Season in Ashburn.
As the Haunt ends, and the last of the studs are stored away for another year...

...high hopes abound as the next year's possibilities are imagined.
Following the mind-shattering success of the 2015 haunt...

NVH hatched grand plans for the next great incarnation of "The Haunt."
And the plan is EPIC - a highly risky, huge reward, extremely bold and quite involved haunt which would nearly triple the size of prior haunts.....
But faster than
"Hail to the Redskins"
degrades into
"To Hell with the Redskins,"
LIFE enters with her own set of demands and kicks Halloween to the curb.
And, on cue, LIFE has intervened and selected alternative plans for the Fall haunt build season

And, it's with GREAT sadness and extreme disappointment that we anounce, for the second year in a row, the 2017 haunt is a hard

The simple fact is, having kids makes it hard for adults to act like kids.

Sometimes, that sucks. But, this time, it's for a REALLY GOOD reason.

For the last 2 summers, our Fams have been up to our eye balls researching and visiting colleges and getting nearly half of our combined broods off to school.
If ya been there, done that, shout out a giant "What What!!" at your screen!!

And, there's High School football, club lacrosse, weddings, home repairs....

There's just no time this Fall to get anything worthwhile off the ground - and certainly no time to build the greatest yard haunt you'll ever see.


We can tell you we have a HELL of a plan laid out for 2018, AND...with Halloween on a Wednesday
(and not a Monday or Tuesday)
we're in much better shape to have a multi-night event!!

So, enjoy your 2017 Halloween...and know this:
We have already started work on the 2018 Haunt - and it's going to blow your mind - and possibly get us kicked out of Summit Ridge - a risk we are willing to take...
For you....

Man With a Worry

If you know anything about our gang, you know we have a lot of "Officials."
As examples, the Rueben at
Concetta's Mainstreet Bistro
is the OFFICIAL HauntSandwich at NVH.
Luan is the OFFICIAL Building material.
These babies:

are the OFFICIAL Candy and energy meal at Haunt-Central.
We also have have deemed
Fright Props
our OFFICIAL parts supplier.
And though they are probably entirely unaware, JD Malone & the Experts
is our OFFICIAL house band.

Not too many haunts have this much depth.

But we also have an OFFICIAL emotion..and it's DEEP too:

Doubt, on an emotional level, is indecision between belief and disbelief. Doubt involves uncertainty, distrust or lack of sureness of an alleged fact, an action, a motive, or a decision.

If we could channel our doubt into fears, we'd hands down have the greatest haunt in the world.

Doubt is what compels me to note the following:

I DOUBT ANYONE noticed that we already threw our first pathetic bone to a local merchant in our quest for "Necrosis Valley's OFFICIAL RESTAURANT."
Though the mentioned bistro lacks a bar, we are willing to split the baby.

All you gotta do is comp us a few Reubens and you get tons of good free press! We'll just seek a separate OFFICIAL BAR....

But I digress...which is basically the entire premise of this stupid blog.
One of our favorite tunes from our OFFICIAL house band is playing in the background now (unless you on on Safari, which sucks for autoplay, and thus, you are missing out). It's sub-titled, "Man With a Worry," thus, the blog header. It's apropos at this stage, as I find myself:

Tip-toein’ around, Deafened by the sound Of my worried mind

Many a prior year, we'd be knee deep in props, walls, costumes, and foam insulation by now.

But as I stare at the 2017 calendar and the vacant haunt sight I am:

High school football, college visits, weddings, family obligations...
There's just so little time this Fall and SOOOOOO much to do. While there is a plan, and a desire, there's not a ton of time or much progress to date.
It's enough to make a man with pre-existing anxiety issues a LITTLE bit anxious.
"Towns and time keep rushing by." And time shrinks.
I dunno folks....

There are only so many weekends between now and late October.
"Days are slow"
"Nights are long"
Gotta a lot of Doubt right now.....

The Church of the Poisoned Mind
Click to watch the trailer

A lot can change in the next few months, but the plan is coming together for a crazy cool 2017 Haunt.

After a 2 year break, the team at NVH is planning to go where it really almost never ever does... church.

Fresh from a few days in the mountains of Western Maryland,
Team Necrosis Valley is back and ready to start the build.
The news came as a shock to the Art did the pink slips
The Art Department has been eliminated

Frankly, we ran out of art department jokes...
But we DO have a MILLION jokes about Jeff's weiner.
We all got a chance to see it and ride it a little at the lake.

But, back to Halloween
Time is getting short - and if we hope to pull off the Colossus we are hatching for 2017, we need to get cracking, hammering, sawing, blogging, and haunting, in general.

We aren't gonna lie - it will be VERY tough this year. We have lost most of our haunt staff. They will be away at college or playing soccer, or football, or running will seem weird working without them

Who are we kidding? We did it all without them anyway - and we're tired of constantly having to throw them a bone

ANNNNNNYwho....A few things...
Halloween is a Tuesday this year - absolutely sucky - so we are thinking about a split schedule this year....maybe a Friday/Saturday showing and then a Halloween night show?
(you can send them via the "Feedback" link - no one has ever used it - it may have cobwebs by now)

Necrosis Valley will again be seeking "The Official Restaurant/Bar of NVH." So, encourage the local shop owners to check out our site - if they see their name here and acknowledge our efforts, and comp us a meal and drinks, we WILL give them tons of free marketing!! And Note Bene: I have BARELY been to Laurienzos' since 2015 - do the math. You DO NOT want to lose OUR bar tab income.
Also, even after 2 years, we really have not gotten over the "1st Runner Up" thing.

So, Dear Mr. Mayor, We know you just re-upped for a 4 year stint - here's your chance to get it right this time...or, like the bar, we will give YOU TONS of free probably won't like!!
You gotta step up your game, Your Honor.

After all, you're a good looking dude

We would HATE to have to think of ways to gently rib you
We're not above drawing obvious comparisons to other mega-stars

So here we go - wheels up on another late summer run into fall.
Check back often for updates - and tell your friends to check us out - we are, after all, the greatest lawn haunt in lower southwestern Carroll County west of Route 27 and above Buffalo Road!!

And keep your weiner dry


And Here